


Fear

by Rux4rux4



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Romance, Survivor - Freeform, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, reader - Freeform, rough, slowburn, tease, witty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-06-27 00:33:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19779652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rux4rux4/pseuds/Rux4rux4
Summary: She was going to kill him, just like he killed her comrades; no remorse. (Y/N) found herself caught between Alexandria and The Sanctuary, as Negan took her hostage. While still wanting to kill him, she got to find more about the man, his past, his way of thinking and acting. Maybe he wasn't at all that bad. Even if her ideas changed, a so primal and needed feeling, fear, still lingered in her mind, and she had to choose what her next move would be."Him choking her like that, with Spencer's dried up blood on his face was almost horrifying, but her heart was pumping ice cold blood through her veins, so she could no longer feel fear for the man.""She had sunshine in her heart and clouds in her head, and that was messing her up gravely."





	1. Meet The Man

The people were rushing through the dark and chilly forest, crushing the soil underneath their feet as they pushed on further. It was past midnight, and in the thick mist, Rick's people were merely swift shadows. Together, Abraham and Rick were carrying Maggie who was sick and injured on a makeshift stretcher. At this point everybody did their best at avoiding the Saviors and making it back to Hilltop safely.

'Hopefully Eugene doesn't screw this up.' she thought.

(Y/N)'s body was feeling stiff and sore with fatigue, but she comforted herself with the thought that her leader's plan will work out, and in about an hour or so she would be back home, eating warm food and sleeping in a bed.

Carl whispered something to his father when they all heard it. A very distinct sound, was it...A whistle?

The group stopped dead in their tracks and listened, before more of them joined in. Rick was the first one to snap out of it and command the Alexandrians to run.  
It looked as if the people, who she could only assume were Saviors, were herding them towards something. She didn't want to go into the direction they wanted them to go, but they couldn't bump into them either, since from what they could heard, they were probably hundreds. They continued to run through the sinister ballad, the more they moved the more they noticed the whistlers were closing in on them.

The sound stopped for just a second, time in which a bright light was shined into the Alexandrians faces. (Y/N)'s heart stopped for a second as her mouth parted open while some of the others gasped and shrieked. The people that were once hidden and guiding them all whistled at the same time right in front of them. Rick, Glen, Abraham, (Y/N) and the others all found themselves cornered by men. Without any doubt, they were the Saviors again, and yes, they were at least 50 men.

'Fuck..'

They all pulled out their guns, but to no avail. It was pure suicide to try fight that many. Her body stiffened up and she started sweating.  
A bruised and bloody Eugene was dragged along the dirt and they put him down on his knees.  
For once, this was not going to end well. They all knew it.

"Good. You made it. Welcome to where you're going. " a man said, his words making (Y/N)'s eyes dart in his direction.

"We'll take your weapons. Now. " and with that he pointed his pistol at her group.  
"We can talk about it.. " Rick tried to negotiate, but he was cut off.  
"We're done talking. Time to listen. "

Rick's composure was dissolving, and the group's confidence was doing the same.  
The Saviors finally took their weapons, but (Y/N) still had a secret little weapon hidden well enough in her clothes. She knew she wouldn't last even a second with it, but having it calmed her down even a little.  
The first man had a short conversation with Carl before taking his gun, and then ordered them to kneel down. Knees shaking with anxiety to this whole new incident, she conformed. After all, she didn't want a bullet in her head.  
A blonde man with shoulder length hair opened the doors to van. The open doors revealed Daryl, Rosita, Glenn and Michonne all stuffed inside.

They were dragged down next to (Y/N), forming a line. The (hair color) woman was sitting right in the left corner next to Eugene, covered by his shadow. Now everyone was fearing the worst. They have been trough a lot, but it would really take a hell lot of luck to get out of this alive. Hopeless, tired and scared for their life, they were completely depending on the enemy's mercy.

"All right! " the man exclaimed with energy.  
"We've got a full boat. Let's meet the man! " he said as he knocked on the RV's door few times.

A man dressed in dark colors came out, his red scarf standing out. However, the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire stood out even more.

"Pissing our pants yet? There gonna be pee-pee pants city real soon... " he joked with a wide grin.  
"So which one of you pricks is the leader? "  
"This one. He's this one. " the first man reassured him.  
"Hi. You're Rick, right? I'm Negan. "

So he's the one, (Y/N) thought to herself.

"And I do not appreciate you killing my men.  
Also, when I send my people to kill your people for killing my people... You killed more of my people. "  
His trippy way of explaining things didn't exactly go through the men kneeling in front of him, who were tired yet at the same time pumping with adrenaline.

"Not cool... Not cool! You have no idea... How not cool that shit is...  
But... You are so gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes... Yeah... "  
"Yes you are. " he reassured the broken Rick with the same damned smirk.  
"You see Rick, whatever you do, no matter what, you don't mess with the new world order. New world order is this and it's very simple. So even if you're stupid, which you very may well be... You're gonna understand it. You're ready? Here goes, pay attention. "

He let the bat fell from his shoulders and put it in front of Ricks face. Rick's head lifted just a little to look at Negan. (Y/N)'s back tensed as well as her fists which she squeezed in anticipation for the worst.

"Give me your shit. Or I will kill you." Seeing that Rick terrified, another sharp smirk found his way onto his lips.  
He left Rick's side and started moving along the line, looking at all of you with slight interest.

"You see, today was career day. I've invested a lot so you'll know who I am and what I can do. You work for me now. " he said again while pointing at Rick with the bat.  
"You have shit, you give it to me, that's your job. Now I know there's a big, nasty pill to swallow, but swallowing, you must certainly will. You ruled the roost. You... Build something. You thought you were safe, I get it. But- The word is out. You are not safe. Not even close! In fact, you are pegged. More pegged if you don't do what I want, and what I want is half of your shit. And if that's too much, you can make, find or steal more. "

"This " he gestured with his hand "Is your way of lifestyle now. If someone knocks on your door, you let us in. We own that door. Try to stop us and we'll knock that door over. You understand that? " he asked Rick, that only looked into his eyes.  
Negan brought his hand to his ear and pretended to try listen to him.

"What? No answer? You didn't really thought that you were gonna get trough this without getting punished, now did you? "

"I don't wanna kill you people. Let's make it clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me. And you can't really do that if you're dead, now can you? Now, I'm not growing a garden. But you killed my people, a whole lot of them. More than I'm comfortable with. " and with that he puts his hand over his heart.

"And for that, you're gonna pay. "

"So now, I'm gonna beat the holy hell out of one of you. "

(Y/N) felt her heart sink into her guts as her eyes widened in shock.  
She couldn't even imagine someone, one of her friends and comrades, be hit by that hybrid of a baseball bat.

"She, is Lucille. And she. Is. Awesome! " he said to Rick  
"So which one of you gets the honour? "

Negan walked through them once again, and made a remark about Maggie, which (Y/N) could not hear, but it seemed as if it triggered Glenn into protecting her. He got up to hit Negan, but he just got punched back into the line.  
It was painful to watch, it really was. The whole situation sucked; knowing that one of you was going to be killed; in the best case scenario only gravely injured. She only hoped that it wasn't going to be someone like Carl of Maggie, or Glenn, the future dad, or Rick. She was willing to take the hit for them. Hell, they had a dozen of things ahead of them in the future, they couldn't just die now.

"Now listen. Don't any of you ever do that shit again. I will shut it up, no exceptions. First one's free, I get it. It's an emotional moment. " he pointed with his finger.

"Sucks now, doesn't it? The moment you realize you don't know shit... " he said to Rick that was by now realizing he was losing everything he had until now.

"This is your kid, right? This is definitely your kid! " he referred to Carl and (Y/N) leaned forward.  
"So stop this! " Rick found the courage to yell out.  
"Hey! " Negan shouted back, louder, making the (hair color) girl flinch and close her eyes.  
They've never dealt with something like this before, and that made it all horrifying for her. There was no salvation now, unless a miracle happened.  
"Do not make me kill the future serial killer. Don't make it easy on me. I gotta kill somebody. I simply cannot decide. I got an idea."

"Eeny. Meeny. Miny. Moe. "  
(Y/N) faced him with her brows furrowed. Was he really serious about this?

"Catch. A tiger. By his toe. If. He hollers. Let him go. "  
She looked at the unfortunate's face and again felt her heart drop.

"My mother. Told me. To pick. The very. Best one. And you. Are. It. "  
'He ditched it?!' she thought as she went pale.

Negan continued with the poems few more times, over and over and it appeared that his picking was aleatory, which was even more frightening. By now he has passed (Y/N) few times, but she just put on her strongest face on and stared back. Her attempt to look strong made him grin ear to ear, although it seemed as he did that to everyone.

"Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boys other eye out and feed it to his father, and then we'll start! You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you all gonna be doing that. "

Without any warning at all, he forcefully swung the bat down into Abraham's head.  
Screams of terror could be heard. A scream evaded the (Y/N)'s throat as well. It was just so quick and unexpected. He wasn't even close to him when he said that.  
Abraham fell down from the impact but shortly after he stood up again. She admired his strength to not make even one sound. She had tears in her eyes and she was holding them back hard, her nails digging into her thigh.

"Oh, look at that! Takin' it like a champ! "  
"Suck. My. Nuts. " Abraham spoke in breaths after he was all the way up standing. Her voice hitched in her throat, no longer managing to keep her cool.

And then Negan hit him again. Over and over again. The woman could hear and feel her heart beating in her chest so hard, as if it was going to jump out anytime. Everybody was just so broken, crying, gasping and wiping their unceasing tears. (Y/N) was as well crying, how could she not?  
The grotesque sound of bones, brains and blood being mashed together continued for some more minutes until Abraham's head was completely gone and unrecognizable. She found it hard to even look at him, and she was struggling to swallow her spit.  
The sight of someone she once knew look like that made her sick. He was strong, he was smart, he was a way better company keeper than her, a better leader and strategist than she could ever be.

'It should have been me. ' she screamed in her head, and was sure that others thought the same about themselves.

"Look at my dirty girl! " Negan exclaimed towards his flesh covered wooden bat.  
"Were you together? Oh man. Sucks to be you. But if you were, you should know that there was a reason for all of this. " he spoke to Rosita. The poor girl was sad she wasn't even crying anymore.  
"He just took one, or six! Or seven! For the team! "

Tears streamed down onto (Y/N)'s chin.  
"So take, a damn, look. Take a damn look! "

Daryl suddenly jumped up on his feet and punched Negan.  
He didn't get to do anything more until he got pushed into the ground by the Saviors behind him.

"That! Ohh, my! That! Is a no-no. That one thing, not even a bit of that shit flies here! "  
There was a little discussion about killing Daryl, but Negan decided that he should be put back into the line.

"Now what did I said. I said first one's free, and that I'll shut that shit down!  
No exceptions. Now I don't know with what kind of assholes and liars you've been dealing with, but I'm a man of my word. First impressions are important. I need you to know me. So... "  
"Back to it!

Choking on her own spit and lunging forward on all fours, (Y/N) watched with red eyes as Glenn was this time struck down. She alarmed the Saviors behind her, but she was so focused on Glenn she didn't even notice them.

Her breathing was uncontrollable, from choking and from the muscle spasms.  
He was one of her best friends, that Asian piece of sunshine that would make everyone's shitty day a little bit better. The guy who would always volunteer and go on risky missions, everybody's friend, Maggie's husband and more than all a future father. And now there he was, choking, just like you, but on his blood, with his eye popped out of it's socket.  
He was completely miserable, and that hurt her to the core. (Y/N) couldn't bare to look at him like that, but still, something urged her to do it. His mumblings were probably the most haunting things. Even with a giant dent in his head and looking like that, he was struggling to form a sentence.  
She never, not even in her darkest moments, imagined Glenn would die like this.

"Maggie... I'll find... You.. " he said between murmurs and gasps.

It was just so, so heartbreaking it physically hurt her.

"Oh, I see that this is hard on you guys. I'm sorry. I really am. " Negan proceed to say  
"But I did say it. No exceptions! "

And he went back to crashing heads. It hurt you all so bad, but at least he was put out of his misery.

"Lucille. Is thirsty. She's a vampire bat!" he exclaimed with a wide toothy smile looking at his beloved object, making (Y/N) wonder just how many people he had killed this way. The question and the look of satisfaction on his face made her realize that he had probably lost count by now.

"What? Was the joke that bad? "

Rick mumbled something, but the girl didn't really heard it, from all the sobbing that Eugene was creating. She didn't even want to hear it anymore.

"Simon, what did he had, a knife? " the leather jacket man asked.  
"Uhm, he had a hatchet. "  
"A hatchet? He had an axe. Give me his axe. "  
"Simon is my right-hand man. Having one of those is important. Without them, you have a lot of work. You have one? Maybe one of those, fine people still breathing? Oh... Or did I..?"

Negan took the axe from Simon and put it at his belt.  
"I'll be right back, maybe Rick will be with me! " he grabbed Rick by his shirt and started dragging him into the RV.  
"If not, well, we can just turn these people inside out, won't we? I mean, the ones that are left!"

Rick was sobbing.

'This is it. This is the end.'


	2. Consequesces

The sun was slowly rising through the thick mist of the forest. The mist was just as thick as the atmosphere; nobody moved, nobody said anything, they just cried and cried. Some members of the group were still visibly sad or had wet, puffy faces, and some of them were already sober. Or at least they pretended to be, just as (Y/N) was.

She hated Negan for what he did. He could have taken everything they had and they would have all be fine with that, but no. He killed Abraham and Glenn. Maybe from all the stress he put her trough Maggie miscarried.

_'I will rip his throat out if that ever happened.'_

If Maggie would be to go through that as well, she wouldn't be able to handle it, and (Y/N) knew that too.

(Y/N) cared about these people a lot. If it wasn't for the walkers gathering around the prison's fences, they wouldn't even have noticed her. She had fallen down from exhaustion and could not get up anymore. Still in a critical condition, she was tightly gripping the only weapon that she could still use, a knife, and pointed it at the strangers. She remembers the exact time when that happened. She had to escape a horde of walkers and she had to run through the forest for two days straight, time in which she didn't had water nor food.   
They offered to help her, she declined. But still they had mercy for her and they took her inside their walls by force. The whole thing bothered her, although it felt good that someone cared for her. She didn't want to depend on another person ever again, not even for a bit. Getting attached was by itself a problem too. She said to herself that she'll leave as soon as she recovered, but by that time she already grew fond of these people, and her heart would not let her leave.

Just when she was dwelling back into her memories, the wheels of the RV could be heard in the distance and they all turned their heads towards the sound.

Negan threw Rick out and then pulled him after like he was a filthy animal.

"Rick, do you know what that little trip was about? " Rick didn't respond.  
"Speak when you're spoken to! "  
"Yes.. Yes. "  
"It was about the way you looked at me. You look like I shit in your scrambled eggs, and that's not gonna work. Listen, you get to decide what happens to your group. "  
"Now, put a gun at everyone's heads. Level it up with their noses. If if blows up, pshoo! It will be a real mess. "  
The guns cocked and got behind your heads.

"Kid, come here."

Uncertain and hesitant, Carl moved to Negan. He asked him what his dominant hand was and then put a belt on it.  
(Y/N) had a very bad feeling about this, but she knew she couldn't do anything more than cause another death, so she just scrunched her nose and took a better look at what was happening. Blood and adrenaline were pumping through her body once again when Negan proposed to Rick that he either cuts his son's arm off or kills all of you.

She was on the verge of spilling out, but carefully contained every feeling inside, as she was afraid of the consequences. She could picture everything so vividly; she wanted to burst out of her 'seat' and kill everybody that didn't belong to her own group, _especially Negan_. 

"Okay Rick, if you do not pick up the axe I'm gonna have to start counting. "  
Nothing.  
"Okay, you win. Three! "  
"Please! " Rick was begging him while sobbing uncontrollably. This was pure madness, and the madness engulfed her as well.   
"Two! "  
(Y/N)'s breathing was so hard and fast while sweat was dripping down her face and back as she was boiling, her teeth pressing down against themselves. She felt caged, tied down, chained. Her thighs twitched in anticipation as she was restricted on her knees.  
"Please! It could be me! "  
"One! "

Sobbing, Rick shakily grabbed the axe and Carl's hand. 

With wide red eyes, (Y/N) could not believe what was happening before her. Was this really going to happen? She nearly jumped up when looking at Carl's painful expression.

Suddenly Negan stopped him, to the people's relief.  
Rick was breathing like a dog, taking in sharp and fast breaths.

"You work for me. You provide for me. You belong to me. Right? "  
Rick was still too shocked to do anything than breathe.  
"Speak when you're spoken to! " Negan once again screamed, and if (Y/N) was honest, it quite scared the hell out of her when he did that.  
"Right!"

Negan walked trough the Alexandrians and looked at their broken expressions. 

"Now I hope, for all your sake, that you get it now... "

He said and looked at the group's faces, when he noticed (Y/N). She was definitely tired, but her stinging red eyes looked different from the eyes of others. They were dead, but at the same time sparkled as if they were still alive, containing some sort of energy, let up for his interpretation.  
The same eyes dashed to Negan's face when he stepped in front of her.  
"Ohoo." he chuckled and crouched. Her arms and sore shoulders tensed up even more "Look at you! How didn't I noticed your pretty face earlier, huh?" she clenched her jaws and her lips pursed, waiting in silence for him to go away.  
"You know, I do believe that me and you" he said as he put his hand over her shoulder, but that seemed to trigger her finally, and she violently pushed his hand away with a loud 'thump'.  
"Don't you ever touch me again, you piece of shit!"she yelled at him with a trembling voice, a mix of fear and rage. Despite her voice and her hands shaking, she felt more powerful than ever to stand up to him.  
"Oh baby, I can touch you all I want. You're mine now."  
"Fuck you, you fucking-!" she yelled and launched herself at his throat, all the rage giving her even more strength as she was throwing curses at him.They struggled for no more than mere seconds before Negan pushed her off of him and the other Saviors ripped her off and pinned her to the ground. Her powerful, raging huffing was picking the dust off the ground and bringing it up in the air. She was so concentrated she didn't even hear her group yelling at her in desperation to stop.

"Fuck me, honey." he chuckled and tilted his head to the side "Get her on her feet." he commanded.  
The guys yanked her spazzing body off the ground and she shook away in their arms.

"Careful boys. I like this one. She thinks she's shit. It's gonna be fun breaking her." Negan spoke and took her face in his hand to inspect it.

(Y/N) spit the Savior square in his face, receiving satisfaction from doing so. Negan, on the other hand, turned mad.   
"Get her in the fucking truck. Tie her up good or I'll get real pissed." he grunted as he wiped himself clean.

You were more than fucked right now. Maybe if you would have just shut up and let him touch you you wouldn't be in this situation.  
 _'Fuck no I'm not that kind of person! I never was!'_  
She only got more mad at her own thoughts. She'll make sure to kill this motherfucker. Shave him off the surface of the Earth, even if it's the last thing she does.

"We'll be back in a week to take our shit. So, if someone knocks on your door, you let us in. We _own_ that door. Try to stop us and we'll know that door to the ground. "


	3. New Home

She wasn't the only one going to the devil's house. Daryl was going to Negan's headquarters as well. The two Alexandrians were sitting together in the back of the truck, both tied up. As if Negan knew she'll be the vocal type, he later told his men to gagg her too.

Daryl looked awful. Glenn's death was on him, after all. She wished she could say something to him to cheer him up, tell him that everything's going to be fine, but the cloth in her mouth was preventing her from that.  
The silence and looks between them two were agonizing.

(Y/N) was thinking back to the situation's gravity. Negan could do whatever he wanted with them. He could kill them in an instant, or do it slowly. Although she was skeptical of this theory. The worst that could happen is that he'll use them as a weapon to fight Rick, and she hoped that she wouldn't have to do that. She screwed up, but at least she wasn't leaving Daryl behind. They were both here, so maybe they would manage to do something, escape or kill Negan.

The truck finally stopped, signaling that the two have reached their destination. The Saviors pulled them out and they started walking towards a building.  
The place was rather gloomy than scary. None of the less, she had imagined something else.   
The building was a factory painted in a gray color while on the outside of it people were bringing walkers into a closed area, surrounded by fences.   
Either for training or intimidation, she thought.   
She could handle the walkers anyway, so it wasn't a problem. She didn't notice the presence behind her until he started talking.

"Home sweet home. How do you like it, doll?" he asked.

Her head swished in his direction and she gave him a sharp stare before slowly turning her head away.

"Oh sorry hun. I must have forgot you had that thing in your mouth. " She resisted the urge to roll her eyes in the back of her head to his sarcasm, and he reached over to take her gag off.  
"Damn, that shit was drenched! " he exclaimed and threw it to the ground.

She didn't respond, instead spit out her saliva and moved her jaw side to side. Her whole body hurt and her bones ached from standing up all of those hours. Her knees were probably bruised as well and she could feel her eyes sting from not being able to sleep. Her spine and shoulder muscles killed her.  
She let out a tired sigh as people from "The Sanctuary" were staring at them with curious yet cautious eyes.

Their feet clicked against the floor inside the factory as Daryl and (Y/N) were being walked into an unknown place. Suddenly the ropes around her wrist were being cut and she was pushed trough an open door into a dark room. The sound of the door being locked quickly followed.

"Hey!" she yelled, banging at the door, still confused about what had happened.  
"What the hell did you do to her?!" Daryl roared from the other side, and she later heard him grunt and curse. (Y/N) was listening in silence to what was happening.  
"Shut the fuck up up!" someone shouted at him.  
"Don't you worry, she'll just cool of a bit in there." Negan purred.  
Her nose and brows wrinkled and she began punching the door and kicking it.  
"Let me fucking stay with him, goddamn it!" she screamed back and heard another door open and lock.  
"Maybe if you learn how to behave yourself and cooperate, we can have a little chat."  
"Fuck you! My people are gonna come here and mow you down, you motherfucker! Then you'll be sorry!" she let out more raspy curses at him.  
"Yeah, I'll wait for them. Goodbye darling."  
"Go to hell!"

Not 5 minutes later a song started playing. The volume so loud you could feel the vibrations through the floor and walls.

_"We're on easy street,_   
_And it feels so sweet_   
_'Cause the world is 'but a treat_   
_When you're on easy street"_

The song played on and on.  
You yelled for Daryl few times but even if he heard you and responded somehow, you could not understand what he was saying, so you just gave up on the idea of communication when your throats started hurting. More than surely, you both tried kicking the door down but it just wouldn't budge.  
The girl slid down the door and on her bottom. Her back was killing her so she laid down, which was a mistake, the action causing her even more pain to her hurting bones.  
"Argh, fuckin-!" she whisper yelled to herself.  
She crawled farther from the door and into the darkness, trying to escape the sound that was abusing her ears. She just wanted to sleep, but the damned song would not stop playing.  
Some more hours of constant shuffling passed by and (Y/N) finally managed to fall asleep through all of that chaos, although it was nothing near good. She had nightmares of Glenn and Abraham and of other people she knew. Her sleep was horrible, being half awake due to the song playing in the background.

Waking up covered in sweat, she felt a very familiar feeling in her stomach. Hunger.  
This time being awake for real, she pulled out her bladed ring from her bra and decided to try evade. Yes, her secret weapon, if she could even call it that, was a defense ring. But the blade on it was razor sharp. One slash or stab in the right place and they would be either bleeding to death or squirming in pain. She pressed the claw of it into the lock but nothing. It didn't fit. Puzzled, she tried again. She aligned the blade with the lock once again to try and she felt the door shook.   
It wasn't because of her this time.

_'Shit!'_

She hurried and as careful as she could she tried to fold the ring back in it's sheath and into her bra without stabbing or cutting herself.  
The woman tried to look as normal as possible for obvious reasons.

The door unlocked letting the blinding electric light enter the foul smelling room and hurt her eyes.  
Now she could hear the annoying song that was playing for some good hours even better.   
On the other side of the door was Negan's bitch, "D" or "Dwighty boy" as he called him. She got to know his name on the way back to The Sanctuary. The guy had half of his face burned off, but he probably deserved that shit.  
He didn't said anything, but extended his hand with something in it. (Y/N) squinted her red eyes at the thing but right then he just threw it in the other end of the room. While she turned her head with her dirty, greasy hair he put a water bottle down and locked her again.  
It turned out that the "miracle" he just threw was some sort of horrible sandwich. The bread wasn't that old, but the filling definitely left her wanting something else.

_'Maybe its that French thing... What's it called? Paté or something... '_

Taking a bite from the thing, the woman immediately spit it out. This was the paté of hell. It was definitely dog food. The little bones in it made her puke, along with the taste. But she was also hungry, and the burning feeling in her stomach wouldn't stop.   
"Hell yeah you go (Y/N)!" she whispered to herself when the idea popped into her head. She began to carefully scrape the dog food off the bread slices under the light that was protruding from under the door. She only ate the bread. It still tasted and smelled subtly of dog food, but you could not compare it to what it was before.

Once again, after her little "lunch break" she resumed to her escapee mission.  
Her hopes were totally bashed when she had been trying the lock for good minutes only to try again and be let down.

Calming herself down a bit, (Y/N) went to sleep once again covered in her sweat. She felt like sleeping was the only way to cope right then. After this nap, she lost track of time.   
In the restless nights she spend wide awake, looking at the ceiling, or mumbling out the song that never stopped, her eyes would often play tricks on her, forming things that weren't actually there. Dwight also came from time to time to give her food and water.

It was around the 4th day, she assumed, when the music stopped once again. She stood up on her butt and listened closer as her ears rang. Three distinct knocks at the door made her jump up in fear.

"Hello darling. " was said after the door opened, revealing a very familiar face.  
Her face showed repulsion, to his delight. There were also other people behind him, but she didn't mind them at all. Her focus was on him.  
"It's clean-up time!" he said in an exciting manner, with his arms spread open.  
"But first, promise me you'll be a good girl and you won't try do bad shit."

(Y/N) took some seconds before nodding her head yes.   
_'Let's play by his rules.'_

A woman, at his command, took her to the bathroom and they both had the displeasure of having to see each other while one was on the toilet. Afterwards she returned (Y/N) to Negan who took her to some sort of cafeteria along with his men.   
The people inside stopped talking at the sight of their leader.

"Don't you mind me, people." he told the mass, who then resumed to starting talking softly and awkwardly.

_'The hierarchy here is pretty much established, one could say.'_

They two settled down at an empty table, finally.

"Go do your things, I'll call if I need you." he told his men and started talking to her.  
"So what would you want to eat? Just pick everything, cause we. Have. It."

Her tired (eye color) eyes looked at him with anxiety. Indeed she saw that the people present in the cafeteria all ate a diverse range of food. She could however not find an answer to his question. It was almost embarrassing how some days ago she could throw cuss after cuss at him and was ready to kill him, and now she couldn't even find her own words.

"Ugh... Just, get me whatever, you have." she managed to say, to which he raised his eyebrows and shook his head a little to the side.

"You're not pretentious, are you? Jack, bring some steak and potatoes to my table, thank you~ !" he put the radio away and faced her once again. To her predictions, that just confirmed that they were indeed being monitored. Looking at the people in the room, (Y/N) felt so small, the hunger making her feel hands and feet icy. Some people were looking right at her and Negan.

"So. So so so. Since I already presented myself last time with Rick and all, how about you tell me your name, sweetheart?"  
"It's definitely not sweetheart." she again found that strength to stand up to him.  
"Then what is it, hun?"  
She shook her head to the side and puffed air through her nose in annoyance.  
"Do I make you want to beat the shit out of me? I'm all about pushing boundaries, honey, you should know that."  
Fidgeting with her fingers under the table, the (hair color) woman was waiting for the bearded man to stop talking.  
"You see, I was nice enough with you to even take you out so soon, so how about you show me some gratitude and tell me what your fucking name is at least." his tone demanding now.  
"(Y/N)."  
"That's a beautiful name, darling. "

_'Then why don't you fucking use it, you fucking moron.'_

"Was it so hard to say it now?"  
"Here you go sir." A chubby yet still bulk man interrupted and brought him food.  
"Oh, silly Jackie, the food is for (Y/N) over here."   
Jack laughed politely "Sorry sir." He put the food, plastic knife and fork in front of the female and waited there.

"Now get going." Negan told him. "I hope my girl likes it. "   
Her fingers slowly crawled up on the table and took the cutlery in her hands. A stab and some back and forth motions before she put the food in her mouth, but she spat it out.  
Negan chuckled at her being so impatient. Her mouth was open and she was waiting for her tongue and teeth to cool down.

"Why don't we wait a little, darling. Tell me something about yourself. "  
"I already told you my name, so use it."  
He softly laughed again and leaned back into his chair, pulling "Lucille" closer, making a shiver run down (Y/N)'s spine.  
"Aah, you're so much fun. Bringing you here was a brilliant idea. The best I've had in a while, shit."

_'So I can slit your fucking throat.'_ the woman thought, barely containing herself from reaching for the ring and slashing his neck from across the table.

The look of hatred she threw him made him grin again.

"You really are something."  
She ignored him tried the food again; still too hot for her but she ate anyways.  
"Right. Listen, _(Y/N)_ , _I_ brought you here for a reason."

She pushed the mashed potatoes to the side of her plate. The consistency of them and the word 'mashed' made her sick. She couldn't bare eat them.  
"Why?" she asked in a strained whisper.   
"I want you to work with me."  
Her eyes dashed up to meet his that were full with interest for her reaction.  
"That's right darling. Work with me."  
"No." she spat out in disgust.   
"Or- you can become one of my wives if you don't want to work."

(Y/N)'s fist hit the table, the force making the plate and cutlery quiver upon each other.

"Excuse me?! Is this some fucking joke?!" she almost yelled, causing the tables near them to resume to silence.  
"Hey! You didn't exactly let me know you'd want to work for me. It's one way or another, and you have three options: one, you work _with_ me, two, you work _for_ me, or three, which I personally like the fucking best but you'd probably won't ever agree to: you become my wife." he explained using his fingers.

The choice of dragging her blade through his carotid artery was becoming harder and harder to ignore with each passing second now.

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" The woman pushed herself with her hands on the table further back into her chair.   
"Hey listen, I don't just propose that to anyone."  
"If these are my only options then I'd rather shoot myself in the fucking head!" she continued, her voice tense.   
"It looks like this is over, huh?" he said in a serious voice, making the woman's eyes dart right back at his chocolate ones. Now she recognized him as the man he really was, the one with the bat in his hands.

Negan told her to stand up. He called back his men and together they walked her through the maze like factory, with (Y/N) internally fearing for her life. She thought she might have really crossed the line.  
They walked down corridors, until they finally reached a room.  
"Ladies first." Negan spoke after opening the door for her.

She entered only to be greeted by the same foul and dusty air that this whole place reeked of. The room was almost dark with the lights off, the only natural source of light being some small windows that could not be opened. It was a factory after all. The room looked neat, most of it at least. A plain bed, a closet, some carpets on the floor and some books on a shelf nearby. There was an apple on a nightstand near the bed. She felt relieved.  
Negan pressed down the light switch and the room lit up.

"It's not much but you can decorate it later."  
She looked around in silence.  
"There's a sink with some water in the back room. The showers are in the public bathroom near the stairs outside."  
The woman looked at him, quite confused.

"You can stay here. It's your room now." he said and earned a small nod from her.  
"Well, I say that you have enough time to think of a choice 'till tomorrow. Whacha say?" he said and leaned on his baseball bat.  
"I can't hear you, darling." he sighed.  
"I'll leave you be. My wives are two doors away if you need help with anything. Hope I can trust you around them, no? Just a little warning, don't try pulling off any shit."

_'Did he just use wives? Plural?'_

"Have a nice day!" he greeted and left, his men closing the door to her room.

You found your way into the bedroom and plopped onto the bed.   
It was a little bit too soft for your liking, but after sleeping on the floor it was just perfect.   
_'Choose my ass. I'm leaving this place today.'_

She yawned. Reaching forward, she grabbed the apple next the water glass and bit into it.  
"Oh come the fuck on!" she threw away the apple and kicked the bed she was sitting on with her heel.

It was made out of wax. And she went to the back room to wash her mouth and face. She looked in the mirror at the wet face before her. Her dark circles were big as hell and her eyes were red; her face had formed some wrinkles, her hair was looking crusty. She looked at her hands who were grabbing onto the sink, and then looked at her feet and-  
Oh my God it was just what she was looking for! She bend down and picked up the bobby pin off the floor in a hurry. She twisted the object until she was certain she could pick up a lock. She often picked locks as a child, so unlocking another door shouldn't have been no big deal.

She put it into her back pocket and went back into the other room.

Laying down on the bed again, and after lots of thinking and worries, she fell asleep. Only some more hours before she'd go out and rescue Daryl only to escape together with him. Fuck Negan.


	4. Kitchen Squad

She struggled to wake up, few hours after falling asleep. She would have loved to sleep more, but Daryl was out there, somewhere, more than probably still in that cell. She had regained her strength, some of it at least, and she needed to find him now. She checked the twisted bobby pin in her pocket to see if it was still there.  
There had to be some sort of catch; Negan wouldn't just leave her all by herself, free to roam around. His men had to be guarding the place, looking for her in case she was going somewhere.

(Y/N) opened the door without a sound and looked around. Surprisingly, there was no one guarding the door. There was no one in the whole hallway; even more alarming. However she was trying to take this as her advantage.  
Her careful steps guided her through the building until she reached the so familiar sounding corridor.

"It's our moment in the sun  
And it's only just begun  
It's time to have a little fun  
We're inviting you to come and see why you should be  
On easy street"

'Oh God! This thing never stops, does it?'

Reaching this part of the building and being sure that she was not being followed, nor that anyone saw her, now everything she needed to do more was figure out in which room Daryl was, so she decided to call out his name and walk through the doors.

"Daryl, it's me! (Y/N)! Just say something! " you spoke into the doors while knocking on different doors randomly.  
"(Y/N)? "  
"Yes! Where are you?" she now shouted back as blood rushed to her head, trying to figure out in which cell he was. She pulled out the bobby pin out of her pant's pocket and turned back towards one door.

One powerful slam was enough to knock (Y/N) to the ground and make her right ear ring. She wasn't sure what had happened, but she was pretty damn sure someone just punched her. The bobby pin jumped out of her hand. She flipped around and turned, receiving more hits and blows to her body that made her grunt. The attacker was Dwight, as she got to see him. She fought with him and managed to get him some times, but it was all over when he grabbed her arm and put it on her back. 

"Ack!" she exclaimed when the cigarette smelling blonde pushed her arm in a little bit more.  
"(Y/N)?! " Daryl's shouts became clear after the song ended.  
"I'll be fine, just take care, Daryl! You have to find a way-"  
"Come here!" Dwight forcefully yanked her arm and dragged her around the hallways.   
"Fucking leave her alone! Hey!" the man from the South roared and punched the door.

You could guess where you were going to be taken to. Walking away from the scene, she cursed herself mentally for not being more careful, although she could swear she was alone.  
While walking with him on the empty hallway, she felt his hand let go of her for a second, so she listened to her instinct and turned around hitting him square right in his nose. He stumbled some steps behind with his hand at his nose, but as she lunged to him he punched her and she at her turn turned back; enough time for him to lock her arm behind her painfully once again.

"Walk. Now! " he ordered trough gritted teeth in a low tone.  
"You motherfucker. " she said with her face all wrinkled in annoyance. "Oh fuck." she whispered and started walking when he pushed her arm in more, almost making it pop out of its socket. He didn't had time for her shit.   
They reached their destination finally after turning around few times and going up some stairs. In the end, they were both in front of a door.

Dwight knocked on it around three or four times.  
No answer.

"Negan? It's Dwight. Negan! I got (Y/N)! "

Seeing that there was still no answer he took a radio out from under his vest, Daryl's vest, and tried contacting Negan while she was still uncomfortable, with her arm twisted on her back. Dwight knew exactly where Negan was and what he was doing at this hour, a reason why he wanted to avoid calling him right now, but he had to report such a thing to him, even if he would get all cranky. After some unsuccessful attempts there was finally some response from the other end.  
"This better be fucking important." his voice was rather cold and angry.  
"Caught (Y/N) sneaking, trying to get to the other one. We're in front of the office."  
Negan sighed. "I'll be there in 5 minutes. Don't fucking lose her or we're gonna have problems."

'Great. ' she thought.

Negan did kept his promise and got there as soon as possible.  
He appeared to be sloppy, but at the same time enraged, gripping the bat tightly.   
His hair was messed up, he smelled faintly like a woman and you could see that he put his clothes on in a hurry.

'Shit, did he really? ' she cringed and cursed herself at the thought.

(Y/N) looked down on him to assure herself, and... She was damn right. The 'uncomfortable' level had by now hit the top, it was almost spilling over.  
'Shit' she whispered to herself and bit her lower lip with anxiety.

"So you fucking misbehaved, huh?"  
(Y/N) gulped as he started talking to her.

"It hasn't even been one day, one damned day! And you already try do some shit! You sneak up, try to escape with your little friend, beat up my men" he looked at the bloody nose of Dwight. "right after I told you not to. Right after I let you stay inside a nice, clean room!   
I'm not a fucking idiot to leave you alone, but you just showed me you are by believing that." he almost yelled and took her face in his hands, which made her hold her breath in and push back into Dwight's chest. His hand smelled... interesting the very least. She could only imagine where that went, but preferred not to.   
Being sandwiched between Negan and Dwight was uncomfortable for her and Dwight, as he backed a bit as well when she leaned on him. 

"Now what the hell should I do to you? Huh?" he asked himself in a whisper.  
(Y/N) pressed her lips together and waited for his response staring at his dark eyes.  
"Two days into the cell, no food, no water, and after that, we'll have you be productive, I hope you know how to cook cause if not you'll go scrub the toilets next."

She swallowed the hatred deep inside her. Now really wasn't the time to drop even lower.

"D, take (Y/N) to her cell, and move Daryl away from his cell. Tell me if it got to him yet."  
"Yes, Negan. "

° ° °

The woman was thrown and locked back in her cell. It was still dark, still empty, it still smelled like shit and the song was still playing.

"We're on easy street"  
"We're on easy street"  
"We're on easy street"  
"We're on easy street"  
"We're on easy street"  
"We're on easy street"

'What the fuck?! '

The shit broke, and it was repeating the same phrase over and over again.  
Just when she thought she was getting better at ignoring the song...  
She kicked the door with her fists and legs, shoulders and body. She was getting out one way or another, and she was going to leave that place, alone or not.

She screamed. Covered in sweat, finally she screamed and fell to her knees in desperation. Succumbing to the darkness, she threw herself on her back and knocked the air out of her lungs while hitting her head. She was now both mad and sad. Much like a child, emotions just amplified.   
Tears rolled downs her hand covered eyes and she was gasping for air with an uncontrollable raspy voice. Her legs and arms stiffened and trembled, going numb, while still trying to grab at something, so she could get up. Her limbs were cramped up, yet all she could do was cry and hyperventilate uncontrollably, hoping she could go to back to normal, fearing she would die any moment now.

(Y/N)'s conscience was telling her to keep calm and control her breathing, to take long deep breaths and settle down, but that seemed impossible. Her vision, or at least all that she could see in the dark room, was slowly going away, turning white. She put her cramped hand up to her mouth and nose, trying to stop herself from breathing erratically, which she managed to do. But now she was slowly choking herself, so she again gasped for air, her head jerking up and down, hitting the concrete floor below her. It took her several more attempts before she finally calmed down, and her legs and arms muscles were still tense and she couldn't bend her fingers yet.

Maybe it was a panic attack, maybe not, but one thing was for sure. She could not stand being controlled by Negan. She thought of her ring once again through her tears. No, she's not doing that, she's not giving up again. Listening to an asshole wasn't her way of living, but she had to do that, and that ate her up from the inside out. To top things off, she wasn't even allowed to go back to Alexandria. She cried like that for some good minutes, and when she was finished she wiped her nose off her sleeve.

With a wet face and shaky hands, (Y/N) pulled herself up and rested her forehead on her dirty knees.  
All there was left for her to do now was wait.

° ° °

Two days of fasting and sleepless nights passed by, she assumed, and she was expecting Negan's return.  
Her ears ringed at the absence of sound and now she could clearly hear the steps and voices through the emptiness. The door unlocked and her eyes avoided the bright light pouring down from the hallway. Two very familiar knocks on the door's frame made her look at the person holding the baseball bat.

"Hello he -ll... You look like hell darling." he said.  
She noticed Dwight behind Negan and other Saviors as well.  
"Get up." to which she did. Negan held his hand in front of her with a water bottle in it.  
"Take it. I bet you're thirsty as hell."  
The messy (hair length) haired woman just took it in her hand and drank the whole bottle in one sitting, crushing the bottle in her fist after finishing.  
"You're gonna get a damned stomach ache from that. Now, you'll get cleaned, dressed, and you'll meet your coworkers. Arat, take her." he told a black and yellow color hair woman as he spun the bat in his hand few times.

Again, they were dragging you around in places that you didn't knew.

The woman was somehow relieved that she was going to finally wash herself, she stank badly and her skin itched, but on the other hand she knew that she had to undress in front of another girl. To top things off, she had a weapon on her as well, if she could call it that.  
Luckily enough, she didn't really look at her body at all.

'Good thing people still have a bit of shame and morals left.'

When the stranger woman looked away she managed to hide her ring with it's sheath inside her jean pockets and then she took them off too. The mulatto next to you picked up the clothes and put them in a basket. They were more than surely going to be washed, a thing that made (Y/N) alarmed. She felt alone and insecure without it due to all the emotional value it held.

"You'll get them back. " she said noticing her face that could not mask it's worry.  
"Get washing, we don't have all day."

To this, (Y/N) turned on the faucet and let her dirty body be attacked by the cold water. She trembled for some good minutes before the water got warm enough and she washed her body with a bar of soap she found nearby. Picking up a shampoo bottle, she squeezed enough product in her palm and began washing the dirty hair. It felt so good for her scalp to be finally cleaned. When she finished rinsing off the woman gave her a towel to dry her body. Besides the shower water constantly oscillating between hot and cold, (Y/N) enjoyed the shower.

"Get dressed." the curly haired woman ordered her, throwing her a faded gray striped shirt and some skinny black jeans.  
She put them on with her hair still wet. The jeans were a bit too tight for her liking, but the shirt fit her well enough.

'Still better than nothing. '

She put on her boots and Arat walked her towards where she was going to work. They walked around familiar corridors and places, and in the end they stood in front of a faded blue door. Yelling, talking and movement were heard from the room behind it. Arat opened the door and pushed (Y/N) in, walking inside the room also. The air inside here was moist and hot and smelled of food, after all it was a kitchen. The people inside turned their heads to the new guests and for a second they stopped working on what they were doing. Her (eye color) scanned the room and they wandered off to some weird machines to the worker's faces.

"She'll be working here from now on. Negan's orders." Arat told them before exiting the room, leaving you all alone with those people and leaving those people alone with you.  
(Y/N) opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

A man around his early 30's wiped his hands off a towel with a tired expression towards Arat's attitude and came shake hands to her.

"I'm Marcus, welcome into the Kitchen Squad. " his face was serious.

'Kitchen Squad.. '  
She thought and the name brought made the corners of her mouth raise a little. Such a dumb name.

"(Y/N), nice to meet you. "  
"Nice to meet you too."  
"I'll say it now, do you have anything to eat?" she asked him.

He of course brought a plate and filled it up with whatever freshly made food they had. (Y/N) finished in an instant, surprising the people working around her.  
Marcus was taller than (Y/N), had blue eyes and golden hair. He was pretty much handsome, if you took out some minor imperfections.  
He assigner her a woman, Alisha, to show her around and give her some work.

Alisha was dark skinned and had short afro hair. She also had a nostril piercing that added a drop of shine on her.  
She and Alisha walked around and she got to know the lay-out of the kitchen before she made her peel potatoes. These people didn't look like bad people at all, but (Y/N) still didn't consider them her friends.  
(Y/N) sat down next to another woman, just where Alisha told her to stay and began peeling the potatoes, carrots or whatever in the agitated room.

"So what brings you here? " she started, the woman next to her. The (hair length) woman pondered for a moment whether or not she should respond.   
"Punishment." (Y/N) decided to talk.

The other woman lifted up her long brows to look at her from her way too long side swept bangs.

"I haven't seen you around..."  
"I just got here." she didn't really feel like talking, she was still tired.  
"Oh. How'd you meet up with him?"  
"Him?"  
"Negan."

And so the chatting began. She told her how the Saviors followed them around, killed two of her pals and took her and Daryl hostage.  
"That's so cool that you have a group. Sucks that you have to be stuck wandering around here and not see them though."  
"Ha, you telling me?"

Her name was Helen and she was quite cool to hang around with. They actually began having more conversations, and Helen actually enjoyed (Y/N) sharing memories about her group. These people were harmless, and even if they looked careless or if they were working, she could sense them feeding off her experiences and memories with greed.

It turned out that the people from the "Kitchen Squad" or most commonly known as "Number 12", were quite nice, actually, and she already got to know so many people in just one day: Alisha, Marcus, Helen, Stacey, Jacob, Kim, Daniel, Annette and many more.

While she was casually talking with them, Jacob came out the door with a doe on his shoulders.

"Daniel, help me skin and gut this thing. "


	5. In You Alone

It was getting late, her work in the kitchen almost over. While her, Anette and Alisha were washing the dishes, Jacob and Marcus were taking care of the kitchen itself, taking the trash out and scrubbing the doe's blood from off the floor.

"And I put glitter into his car air conditioner vent, and when he turned it on the glitter was just everywhere. " Anette was talking about a prank she did on her boyfriend at that time.  
"God you're just eviiil!" (Y/N) laughed out.  
"That's not funny at all, do you know how hard it will be to get it out? It would take months to get rid of _all_ of it!" Jacob yelled.

Jacob was black as well and he was well build. From what the woman could hear, he was the reason why the food would be sometimes too spicy. He was taller than Marcus and Daniel and his eyes were brown and almond shaped. He was a really good company keeper, always knowing how to break the ice and make you laugh. Not to mention that he was really kind as well.   
It felt good to be able to socialize with people without being afraid. Strangely enough, the Saviors that worked together were more lively, and maybe that's why she opened up to them more. They acted just like before the fall of humanity. But with their exceptions, of course.

"Exactly! " Marcus approved him  
"That was the whole idea. " said Alisha, with her usual cracking voice.

(Y/N)'s stomach made a noise right when everybody was quiet. They clearly heard it too.

"Shit guys, I'm so hungry. " she said.  
"Me too. "  
"Yeah, me three. " they all agreed with her statement.  
"Let's eat and we'll clean after. Sounds good? " Marcus asked, with a raised eyebrow.

They settled down and began eating whatever there was in the kitchen.   
The cafeteria was too far away and they were feeling way too tired to walk there so they just sat down where they felt like it. On the floor, or on the counters, it didn't really matter.

"So, guys, " (Y/N) stopped to take a big bite of a chicken leg "Since in going to work here from now on, at which hour do I have to show up? "

They took a second to think about it, or maybe to chew properly before answering.

"At 6 A. M. ? Yeah...That means you have to wake up at 5:30 to get here on time." Marcus informed her.  
"You're serious?! Everyday? "  
"Not really. We're kinda free on weekends. Kinda free, we wait for people to show up and we mainly just warm things up and serve them." Anette said.  
"What hour is it now? " you asked.  
"It's 11:47 P. M. " said Alisha after checking her hand clock.

Someone decided to enter the room without knocking on the door. (Y/N) was facing the door, but when the others stood up and dropped their food to salute their leader, she just remained the same.   
They looked at her, almost asking her with their eyes to show some respect.

"Good evening people, may I interrupt you _just_ for a bit?" Negan ironically said that, along with his signature smirk "I would like to steal (Y/N) for couple seconds. Is that alright?"   
"Yeah, sure thing sir..." Marcus said with a nod.

She could tell by his eyes that he was worried for her, but he couldn't do anything.  
The woman masked a sigh, let down the leg and jumped from off the counter.

"Come here. We'll have a little walk 'n talk. " he said as the two of them walked out the door, (Y/N) wiping her greasy fingers off her black jeans.  
"What do you want again?" she went into defensive.  
"Aren't you happy to see me? I'm genuinely hurt... " he closed his eyes in a hurtful expression and put his free hand over his chest.  
"Oh, what a pleasure to see you again. Last time you locked me in for two days." she said in a monotone yet tenacious voice.  
"Awe, you're right, but you deserved it. You learned your lesson I hope."  
"Anyways." he started, with a more serious and energetic voice this time.  
"Can I make it up to you? That's actually why I came here in the first place." Negan continued as he got closer to her, managing to snake his arm around her waist.

The sudden warmth on her body made her tremble a little, knowing from who it was coming from.   
After everything that happened, she really needed a hug; but not from him!

"Don't touch me, y-you-!! " she talked in a raised tone and hoarse voice. She panicked a bit.  
"What did you said, darling? I didn't quite hear that, why don't you come _just_ a little closer?"  
He only held her tighter, a thing that that made her incredibly uncomfortable.

He shortly let her go, and started searching for something into his pockets.

"You see, I don't usually enjoy punishing women, unless we're talking about sex, but you really pissed me the fuck off. And for that I'd like to make it up to you." he said as he pulled out a very nicely packed candy from his jacket.

Her (eye color) eyes looked at the thing in a skeptic manner.

"Take it, it's good. I promise!" he salt and pepper bearded man reassured.

Giving into the cravings, she took it, making him bare his teeth in a smile.   
She opened it only to find that there wasn't only chocolate inside, but a little paper as well.   
Putting the candy in her mouth and savoring the taste, she began reading what was written on the paper.   
There were some writings in some Latin languages, but also a translation.

_"In you alone to but my faith, my strength, my pride. "_

Not only the quote, but the chocolate itself was another great thing. It was basically melting in her mouth with a velvet feeling while leaving traces of hazel nuts and milk. Divine taste.

"How was that? " he curiously questioned.  
"Good." she said, a mediocre description of what her taste buds actually tasted.

**° ° °**

"Good night, doll. " he said as he closed the door of her room. He seemed softer this time.

Turns out she was still allowed to sleep in her room, after all of that. Second chance kind of thing.  
And her own clothes came back from being washed. Fortunately, the ring was still inside the pocket. Her heart fluttered as she took it out and in her hand, in the end hiding it in her bra once again. Just like always, she put it in the left side of her breast, that way it was closer to her heart.  
She changed into some clothes that were inside the closet and went to sleep, as she was really tired from today's work.

Waking up at 5 A.M. the next day sounded sci-fi to her, considering she didn't had any clock or alarm. Pretty much already fucked, she resented with the idea, but still hoped she would make it. She closed her eyes and went to sleep.  
  
She woke up at 3 from another nightmare. She began having these quite often once again, and that affected her mental state to a certain degree. Definitely not going back to sleep, she picked a book from the shelf and read until 5, when she began dressing up.

Time went by fast, so she found herself again into the kitchen.   
Under the guidance of her team mates, (Y/N) learned how to do some new stuff. And also learned that the weird machine she saw yesterday was used for making pasta.   
The more you know.

"Hey J, come here, I need you to taste this. " Kim yelled over to Jacob.  
"Wait, I'm dealing with oil! Shit! " a drop of hot oil jumped from the pan onto his hand, to which he responded by shaking away the pain.

You were cutting some vegetables and quickly adding them in a pot for some sort of soup.

J went over to her and tasted the stew she made.   
The young woman looked at him with her curious mono lid eyes.

"Damn. You're only getting better at this. Keep it up. " he said as he patted her on the head, leaving her startled in happiness to her little success.

It was only after that incident when (Y/N) found out that Jacob had a natural talent when it came to cooking.   
Even so, Marcus was a chef, so he was better than him, also the reason why he was ruling the kitchen.

The noon hours came and the whole kitchen team, including (Y/N) went outside for their lunch break. They took (Y/N) to the spot they sat while in their break, a place outside the building, underneath a lonely tree.  
Sitting down, they could hear the wheels of a truck in the distance.  
"Great, more things that I have to take into the storage room." Daniel complained.  
One gun shot, two, and they all shut up and listened.  
"What the fuck was that?! " said Daniel and got up, together with others as well.  
"Let's get a closer look." Marcus breathed out in a cautious tone.  
"Something's definitely not right."  
  
Moving closer towards the whole scene, and throwing a look around the place, (Y/N) spotted a so familiar sheriff hat and silhouette.

"Hoolyy shit. " she spoke.


	6. The Revealing

' What the fuck is he thinking?! ' (Y/N) thought as she rushed through the place, ignoring the yelling behind her. 

She sprinted through the place and jumped over some pipes in order to get to him as fast as possible, before something happened to him; something really bad. Panting, she reached the truck finally. She looked down at a pinned down Carl, struggling to escape Dwight's grasp, and looking around, she locked eyes with Daryl. He was behind a fence, grasping it. If there wasn't barbed wire on it, he would've jumped it for sure.

"Oh! Look who decided to join us just now! Hi honey. " Negan purred while licking his lips.   
(Y/N)'s eyes darted to his face.  
Carl from underneath Dwight's weight looked at her in confusion.

'Oh hell no, I should be looking at you like that!' the thought furrowed her brows, as she was still breathing deep after all the running.

"Dwight, back off. " Negan told with a calm voice.

Negan picked Carl up and then he proposed that he shows the two around.  
(Y/N) didn't object. Escaping with Daryl was still her first priority, along with killing Negan, and it would only be easier to run away if she knew the building well.

Still quite mad worried, she managed to sneak up between Carl and Negan. She let the man lead the way while she and Carl followed from behind.

"What the fuck was that Carl?! " (Y/N) whispered yelled and slapped him hard enough to sting, but soft enough that it wasn't loud.

Ever since Rick lost his wife Lori, he became a mess. He could barely take proper care of himself, never mind Carl. Someone had to step in to help, and (Y/N) took action. She was like a mother to Carl, and Rick knew she could trust her with his kid. To (Y/N) that was a honor; and she was more than happy to do that, even if the kid was sometimes a dickhead.

"Ow... " Carl whispered and put his hand over his cheek. 

Not paying attention, she bumped right into Negan, who had turned around to listen to the two.   
She went face first into his chest, remaining there until she pushed herself away from him, realizing what had happened.

"Need a hug, (Y/N)? You looked kinda scary right there. " 

With her face hot, she stood there and waited for the man to continue walking.

"And quit scolding the boy, he really impressed the hell out of me today! Little psycho in action, ballistic mode. " he said, his face next to hers, forcing her to look away.

Carl looked up to him and at you from under his hat in silence.

"Now that we are all cool, let's continue the trip. " the man said, and this time wrapped his free hand around (Y/N)'s waist, so she couldn't get away. She felt uncomfortable, but got used to it quite fast, while the teenager in the back was staring at the two. No one could blame him though. Being so close to Negan, (Y/N) could smell his scent, a mix of alcohol and cologne. It oddly smelled familiar, like she knew the smell already.  
Before she knew it, the three of them were already on the hallway next to her room, but two doors away.

'Is this, the room his 'wives' stay in?' she questioned herself with anxiety.

His arm suddenly slipped off her hip and (Y/N) was weirdly displeased about that, the air invading the space between her body and his. He knocked on the door and then entered.  
"Hello my dear ladies." he smiled triumphantly.

The door opening revealed some beautiful women wearing charming black dresses. The Alexandrians were quite surprised by them. (Y/N) looked at their bodies. Their make-up bearing faces, nicely combed hair, smooth hairless legs and high heels stood out, along with their perfume smell.  
The women looked weak and frail.  
They were having fun before the door opened, but after that they became self aware of their actions.

"Please don't mind them. " Negan talked to them, referring at (Y/N) and Carl.  
"I know that every woman here dresses up like what you've seen in books and magazines. You're gonna want to look at their titties. " he whispered to Carl still loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. "It's cool. I won't mind, they won't mind, knock yourself out. "

The teen's gaze fell to the ground and Negan eyed a troubled girl in the crowd, and another one who was comforting her. (Y/N) noticed them too, but decided not to mind.  
"Can I talk to you for a moment, dear wife? "

The other woman moved over, joining the others standing next to the windows.  
It was at that time when (Y/N) noticed the room actually had windows. Foggy as they were, light still entered through them.

"(Y/N)? " Carl muttered out.  
"Yeah? " she said and turned around to face him.  
"Are you alright?"  
"What do you mean? Do I look that bad?"   
"Uhhh..." he wanted to ask about her face, but was uncertain about doing it.

You did look awful. Not being able to sleep or eat regularly did some major damage on your face and overall health.

"I know I look shitty, but I've been taken good care of. Really." she lied. She didn't want to make him worry over her.  
"How's Daryl been doing? I've seen him at the gate and-"  
"How has Alexandria been, Carl. " she cut him off and looked down, evading the question.  
He understood and took some seconds before he started talking once again.

"We are managing, but hard. They took all our weapons and half of our everything."

(Y/N) hummed a yes, to let him know she understood.  
"How's Rhee? " she started again, a little more concerned by now.

Negan was still talking to the golden haired girl. She looked uncomfortable talking to him, while he, on the other hand, was listening to her like she was reading from the daily newspaper.

"Rhee...?" No one really used that name anymore.  
"Is she and the baby okay? "  
"Oh.. Yeah. We-..."

It looked like he wanted to say something more, but with Negan and all these girls in the room, he remained quiet.  
"She's in a better place now. Don't worry. " he said after a while.  
She got what he was saying.  
"I'll kill him." she stated in a low tone, through her teeth.

Carl was a bit took aback by her words. Such an irony, since he was ready to do exactly that just minutes ago.  
"Yeah, I will. " (Y/N) reassured herself and the teen with a nod.  
Silence then followed. Now only Negan and that girl were talking.

"She made a mistake... Go easy on her. " the other woman said in a careful but steady voice.  
"Calm the hell down. Have I ever hit one of you? "  
"No, but I know what you can do. "

Negan then switched his attention towards Carl and (Y/N), and then back to the girl on the couch once again.  
He walked over to Carl and handed him a bottle of something he was drinking from minutes ago. He returned to the girl when she started crying behind his back.

"Amber, baby. " he started "You know that I don't want anyone here that doesn't want to be here, right? "

Amber quickly but faintly nodded her head several times, saying a little "mhm".  
"So if you wanna leave, go back to Mark. "  
The name made (Y/N)'s attention perk up. Mark? Could it be the same person as Marcus?

"You can. Oh, what can't you do? "  
"Cheat on you."  
"That is exactly right! " Negan interrupted, almost a little too violently.

"You can't cheat on me. And if you don't want to be here, you can just go. See that gal over there? I can replace you with her anytime."

He pointed at (Y/N), making Carl and the other people in the room, (Y/N) as well, confused. Her forehead was getting hot and beginning to sweat as she was once again cringing. 

"You wanna go back to Mark and your mom... Hell, I'll put you all on the same job. You can just go, nothing will happen."  
"No. I'll stay. I'm sorry. " she gathered up the courage to say these words.  
"You know what that means right? "

By that time, Negan's hand was on Amber's chin and their heads were close to each other. 

"You know what that means. Right? " he repeated, this time more darker and demanding.  
"Yes. I love you, Negan. "  
"Aww.. Of course you do, darling. I don't know why you're crying. It's all going to work out easy for you. " he looked at her for a second and then proceeded to plant a kiss on her forehead.

For some reason, that disturbed (Y/N). She was young, but old enough to know what she wanted, yet she chose to stay with him, despite not being happy. (Y/N) would say that she chose the easy way out of struggle, a thing that was proposed to her as well, although she didn't accept it. She felt disgusted at Amber, for her cowardly choice, but she also had mercy for her, since she did not know her background.

(Y/N) was feeling kind of ill. She was sure that Negan didn't quite care about that girl and yet he acted like he did. He just came around to bang them, more than probably, no actual love involved. Yet she was envious of their luxurious lives nonetheless.  
Her mind now drifted back to Marcus. What if he was "Mark"? Would something happen to him? Probably. (Y/N) didn't want to see him dead as well. Marcus was her friend after all, she has developed some kind of relationship with him over the course of these days.

Negan returned back to the first female.

"You see that? I wasn't hard on her. Even though I am very hard, in general. " he said quite loud.  
(Y/N) rolled her eyes at the sentence.  
"You're an asshole. "

'Hell yeah you're right, girl.'

"I knoow! " he replied, with a bit of a swing of his body.  
"And the most messed up thing is that you like me anyway. " 

They began kissing, making (Y/N) want to ease her disgust with the liquid inside the bottle Carl was holding. So she did.  
She snatched the bottle from Carl, and sniffing it she discovered it was indeed beer, so she extinguished her thirst by downing the bottle. She hadn't tasted alcohol in a while, and that just felt awesome, her tongue stinging with bitterness.

The door opened once again, and there stood Dwight with Daryl after him.

She put the beer down. She didn't want them to think she was having fun here- because she wasn't. In Daryl's arms laid a plate with food and by the look on his face, he would beat Negan to death with it, if he could.

"Carl, can you grab the tray for me? " Negan asked, eating the food from the plate.  
Carl quickly obeyed and did what he said.  
"Why did you bring him here? And her?" Daryl talked with his usual raspy voice.  
"Whoa! " Negan cut him off aggressively "What we talk about when you're not here. Is none of your business. That goes for whom that sugar babe belongs to as well. Do not make me put this toothpick through the only eye the boy has left. Now go back with Dwight. "

Negan, (Y/N) and Carl left shorty after they did, and walked towards another room. It was the room Dwight took (Y/N) when she caught her sneaking out.  
The room was pleasant, somehow. Inside laid a king sized bed, few couches, drawers, and even windows. The walls were decorated with paintings and everything else; there was even a little library inside.

"Were all those women actually your-" Carl broke the silence as soon as they entered the room.  
"Wives? Yeah. Why settle down with just one? I see no reason to follow the old boring rules." Negan responded while closing the door. He then threw his scarf onto the bed.  
"Hmm" (Y/N) purred with a chuckle "Weren't you the one that said that we must respect the rules? "  
"We got a smartie over here. " came the response.  
"Sit. Let's get started. " Negan pointed towards some leather couches.

Carl put down the dish that he was still carrying and sat down, (Y/N) did the same.  
"Start on what? " she asked. Maybe that one bottle of beer was giving her all of this confidence.  
"I want to get to know you guys. "  
"Why? " both her and Carl asked at the same time.  
"Well, because Carl, you're smart. In fact, I'll even tell you how smart you are, in case you don't already know. I would expect a kid around your age to just be hopping around, crying because he missed the prom. But you, you are on a mission. You find me, you kill two of my men, and you know that I'm not going to let that slide. "  
"What about me? Why do I have to be stuck in this shithole? " she said, expressing her displeasure with her hands.  
She was confident. Much more confident with Carl now here with her. She knew if something were to happen she and Carl could take him down.   
"Because, my dear. You're brave, witty and hot as hell. I like you, if you haven't caught on yet."  
"You're mad to think I'd feel the same way about you." she responded after some seconds of soundless surprise.   
"But you don't have to love me to work for me. You can continue to hate me for all I care, I only need you to respect me."  
"Hm." (Y/N) puffed.  
"Ahh, I can't. I can't. It's like talking to a birthday present." he switched his attention back to the teen.  
"You gotta take that crap off your face, I wanna see what grandma got me. "   
'His eye patch? '   
No one has asked for him to take it off so far, and Carl as well frowned and said a stern "No."

"Two men! " Negan yelled into his face"Two. Men. "  
"Negan, please don't do this " she said, rather sad.  
"I love it when you beg, but this is punishment."  
Carl was still not giving up.  
"You really want to piss me off. " he added.  
(Y/N) took Carl's hand in hers.   
"It'll be alright." she whispered, after seeing the teen fret in his seat.   
'Let's just get over with it.'

He sighed and began to take his hat and bandages off.   
This was it, the big moment. The older man added some few remarks here and there while the teen was getting the things off.   
After some other seconds the bandages were off too and his bangs were covering the wound.

"Get that hair off, I wanna see the thing. "  
(Y/N) threw a quick glance at it, she only saw it when she was cleaning and changing the bandages, before he said he wanted to do it himself.   
'Holy shit.'   
It was different from what she would expect, and she was surprised with how it healed.

"Christ! That is disgusting! No wonder you cover that up! "

The atmosphere was tight like a rope, at least on the couch (Y/N) and Carl were standing. But Negan wasn't going to stop just like that.  
"I mean, have you seen it?! "

Carl's breathing was becoming irregular and she could tell that he was slowly tearing up.

"I can see your socket! "  
By this time (Y/N) was trying her best to ignore Negan and his bullying, with her arm around Carl's shoulder, comforting and encouraging him to stay strong. It has been a long time since Carl cried in plain sight like that.

"Can I touch it? I want to touch it, can I? "  
"Negan, please shut up already. You've said enough... " the woman talked after what seemed like an eternity.  
He sighed, noticing the broken kid on the opposite couch.  
"Damn. Holy hell. Sorry kid. Sometimes it's easy to forget that you're still... A kid. I didn't mean to hurt your feeling or anything... I was just screwing around. "  
"Just forget it. " Carl blurted out.

Three knocks at the door, enough to make them tense and snap out of what just happened, at least a bit.


End file.
